They Are Sober, But Why Are They Jerks?

Getting sober will remove some chaos and stress, but staying sober will require finding a balance between self-care and external responsibilities. Old habits and toxic relationships no longer serve the sober version of yourself you are working hard to create. Old habits may include being sober sucks other addictive behaviors or self-destructive actions. Depending on your needs, you may want to consider one or more programs, including inpatient hospitalization programs, outpatient programs, day programs, 12-step recovery programs, or sober living community programs.

being sober sucks

Detox can occur in a hospital setting or as the initiation into the inpatient or outpatient rehabilitation process. You don’t have to be alone in your sobriety journey. Even if you don’t have a strong support network right away, this is something you can seek out to help support your goals. You are a mirror now, a flashlight of sobriety in a society that is laced with the judgment that it’s abnormal to abstain from alcohol. People will assume you drink and will be very curious about why you don’t have a drink in your hand when they do. While making the decision to be sober was the best thing I’ve ever done, it’s also one of the hardest.

Tips to Stay Sober

While we are unable to respond to your feedback directly, we’ll use this information to improve our online help. Take a person who’s pleasing to the eye, intelligent, put together, and when sober, brazenly competent, and confident—but after a few whisky sours, that person turns into a paranoid mess of self-doubt.

  • It doesn’t take long for thoughts to become words and words to become actions.
  • That said, while “recovery” and “sobriety” are different terms, they’re also used interchangeably in some instances.
  • For example, your friends can say they support your sober living journey and avoid offering substances to you.

Triggers for drug and alcohol use are typically defined as people, places, and things that remind you of your addictive behavior or encourage the use of substances you’re trying to avoid. They don’t have to be direct triggers, like someone offering you the substance. Professional support can look like bringing your healthcare provider into the conversation about your drug and alcohol use, seeking an in-person or online recovery program, or attending various therapy types. Sobriety can be a fixed-term goal (i.e., staying sober for Dry January) or a lifelong goal (living a sober lifestyle or staying sober from all substances). Challenges in the process can include intense cravings, relapse, or a return to using the mind-altering substance.

Frequently Asked Questions

Not only because my portion of the check is significantly smaller than anyone else at the table, but also because I refuse to invest in Big Alcohol. Any big life change naturally brings a sense of fear or unease. So if you’re scared of being sober, you’re totally normal—and you’re not alone.4 The key, however, is to take the next step and to muster the courage to face those fears, as doing so can be incredibly freeing. According to Merriam-Webster, being sober simply means abstaining from alcohol and drugs. Though some people are sober for their entire lives, others may have sober episodes of a few years, months, or even days.

  • When you feel better, your mood is elevated, you’re more likely to ignore the little annoyances, and you’re less likely to feel like a relapse is your only way out of any uncomfortable situations that may arise.
  • I wanted to blend in nicely with a crowd who understood that sometimes you just want to drink your face off, or one that didn’t think anything was weird about a glass of noon wine.
  • Head out of town with some sober friends for a few hours to get a change of scenery.

Sobriety is a general term for staying away from mood and mind-altering substances. Some people may remain sober from a particular substance, like alcohol, while partaking in other recreational substances, or they may be working on total sobriety (staying sober from all substances that can cause intoxication). Ask any sober person whether they want to go to a cocktail party or stay in with a pack of La Croix, The Crown, and a bathrobe. I’d bet nine out of 10 of us won’t even answer, and we’ll just laugh because it’s such a ridiculous question.

They Are Sober, But Why Are They Jerks?

No one seriously challenged him, because no one seriously cared. After a few drinks, all my best friend wants to do is give hugs and cuddle—doesn’t much matter who. Once he locks onto you (we are still trying to figure out what triggers him), he will quickly and relentlessly violate anyone’s definition of personal space. Someone can be a bit standoffish, but manage to be prickly, critical, and self-aggrandizing when sober.

You can provide an excuse, like that you’re on antibiotics, or you aren’t feeling great or want to feel fresh for something you have going on the next day. It’s important to remember that you never have to give yourself up to make other people comfortable—ever. Whether you’re stating a one-sentence response (“I don’t drink”) or using a small excuse, the only thing to consider is whether you are comfortable, and whether your boundaries are being upheld. Thankfully, there have only been a few times when someone at the table hasn’t pointed it out on my behalf and adjusted accordingly.

Drunk people are all secretly Beyoncé’s backup dancers.

Unfortunately, for someone in recovery, feelings of discontent are dangerous. It doesn’t take long for thoughts to become words and words to become actions. Before you know it, a lousy day in sobriety can quickly turn into your last day in sobriety if you turn to drugs and alcohol to ease your emotional discomfort. The saying goes that your worst day in sobriety is better than your best day in addiction.

being sober sucks

Drunk me didn’t have to worry if I was alone at a party because drunk me didn’t abide such things. Drunk me didn’t worry if she belonged, or said the right thing, or had to have small talk because drunk me just handled that. If people press that response, I’ll either stare at them and hold an uncomfortable silence (this is enjoyable at some point), or just change the subject. There are exceptions to this, like if someone alludes to their own struggle with alcohol, and then I might offer up a bit more of my personal experience. Apparently, drinking is like sitting on the TV remote’s volume up button, except drunk people are the TV and I can’t find the remote.

Feeling Like Being Sober Sucks? 12 Tips for Feeling Better

Since there are different reasons for using drugs and alcohol, there are also varying reasons why someone wants to get sober. Whatever your “why,” know that with treatment and support, getting sober https://ecosoberhouse.com/ is not only possible, but it’s also manageable long-term. My biggest fears in life include being in large groups of strange people, standing at parties by myself, and really just people in general.

  • Instead of isolating and giving into feeling bad, reach out and connect with others who might be going through the same thing.
  • My biggest fears in life include being in large groups of strange people, standing at parties by myself, and really just people in general.
  • Even if you don’t have a strong support network right away, this is something you can seek out to help support your goals.
  • Create a structured daily routine, but plan for days you may experience sickness or chronic illness flare-ups that could require adjusting your routine.
  • When you handle the little things that are within your immediate grasp, you have an easier time handling other stressors and taking active steps to address them rather than getting bogged down in an emotional response.